Losing Despite Winning At Trades

“I lost despite winning at trades!” This may sound a bit weird at first, but this is what a professional trader told me after our one-on-one interactive session. But he did not stop it there. He went on to say something more which would open the eyes of many professional traders but I’ll come to that later. First, I’ll start this story from the beginning.

Last week, I met a person who was so stressed about his own trading performance that it was affecting his whole family life. When I asked him to share his trading performance numbers, I was surprised to find out that he wasn’t doing as poorly as he said he was, in fact, he was performing above average. But still, there was not a single moment in his life where he was not stressed about his performance. Why? I asked him openly: What do you get from your trading career if you can’t enjoy your own victories and profits?

This question silenced him for a moment. The conversation went on. Let’s park that incident there and come to the point.

Profits are not the true takeaways of any trading wins, but happiness is. When you ask yourself the question “Why do I want to win?” you will probably hear an answer from deep inside about financial security, social acceptance, and so on. However, the most important thing is that when you win, you feel happy. You want to win to be happy. You want financial security to keep worries away and remain happy and less stressed about your and your family’s future. Thus, every answer to that question reaches the same place – you want to feel good about yourself, you want to be happy. Yet……………….

Yet, do you take time to enjoy your wins? Or do you chase the next win immediately after the first one? And in that hurry, do you forget to enjoy your hard-earned victory? If that’s the case, then you’re probably not reaping much of a benefit out of your wins, I would say.

So, when you win, pause for a moment, enjoy the good news, give yourself a pat on the back and think about how this win is going to help you and your family. Relive the crucial winning moments. The win should make you happy. Happiness should be all the motivation you need to go out there and win again. Even a small win can be a big difference. So, don’t brush aside any win as too small or insignificant to make you happy.

Now, coming back to the incident, here is what he added at the end of our session: 

I wasn’t even realizing that I was winning; I was blindly going after the next milestone. I wasn’t aware of the betterment that was happening in my family’s financial situation. I wasn’t aware of the betterment that was happening in my skill set.

But now I realize that I am performing well. I’m happy now. I’m proud that I can contribute to the financial stability of my family. This has increased my feeling of self-worth. I no longer feel like going all out and taking huge risks simply for profits. I’m a lot calmer now that I want to focus on potentially good trades alone.

I’m more confident in myself now. And most importantly, I am not tense about the future because I know that I can perform well and bounce back even in the face of any adversity. I got this confidence only after becoming mindful of my own wins – something I never bothered to do all this while.

Earning profits is one thing; enjoying them is another. From this above incident, you should realize this very important truth that winning trade or earning profits does not guarantee happiness automatically. You must take some steps to ensure that your wins are bringing happiness to you.

Ideally, you should take time off and become mindful of your wins and enjoy them. Otherwise, the very purpose of winning would get defeated. Feeling good, feeling happy would make you well equipped in your work and you’ll gain a lot of confidence. So, ask yourself this important question, “Am I enjoying my wins?”, if the answer is NO, then take the necessary steps to get yourself to a point where the answer is yes.

So whether you are just a beginner or a professional, learn a lesson from this trader and start being mindful of your successes and ensure that you are becoming happy with your wins.